• Justin Scott

    Justin Scott has hosted 105 episodes.

    My grandfather once told my father that he’d rather my father smoke cigarettes than ever lie to him, and my father passed that sentiment on to me. The coo of a mourning dove fills my heart with a nostalgia I may never understand. I have two cats, but I don’t consider myself a ‘cat person’. Dogs are great too, but they don’t bury their own poop, and they will let a perfectly good cadaver go to waste for no other reason than it belongs to their recently deceased owner. My mother told me when I was young that my handwriting grades didn’t matter, and now I can rarely read my own handwritten notes. If I grew up to be a doctor, this anecdote would be amusing. My friends and I used to be afraid of an evil spirit in Clint’s basement, but it turned out that it was just sleep paralysis. I once ate a Dixie cup full of mayonnaise for ten dollars at a party, and later drank a half-gallon of whole milk every day for two years during business school. Now I avoid both.

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  • Michael Smith

    Michael Smith has hosted 106 episodes.

    In the moment of creating art I feel like I am not wasting the world's time. I have an uncanny ability of bringing up my best bench press max within the first 2 minutes of meeting someone. I have built a personality around pretending to not need your approval. I think life is objectively meaningless and art is a beautiful lie that makes us believe otherwise for long enough to change the subject. I have mixed feelings about receiving a Masters degree in Architecture from UCLA but I am happy to accept your respect (more than happy in fact). I have sustained a love for birds for longer than I expected. Going on long walks in the city with my daughter makes me feel better about giving her too much junk food. A therapist would probably tell me that I think any attention is good attention. I have made art with the explicit intention of having it described as "staggering". The fact that I have not enjoyed a single Star Wars movie is something that I am not good at keeping to myself. A profound lack of self-awareness allowed me to spend two years of my life trying to be a professional stand-up comedian. I bench pressed 405 pounds once. I have spent time resenting the advice of hypothetical therapists. I live in Utah and will argue that it is more beautiful than homophobic.

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