In the moment of creating art I feel like I am not wasting the world's time. I have an uncanny ability of bringing up my best bench press max within the first 2 minutes of meeting someone. I have built a personality around pretending to not need your approval. I think life is objectively meaningless and art is a beautiful lie that makes us believe otherwise for long enough to change the subject. I have mixed feelings about receiving a Masters degree in Architecture from UCLA but I am happy to accept your respect (more than happy in fact). I have sustained a love for birds for longer than I expected. Going on long walks in the city with my daughter makes me feel better about giving her too much junk food. A therapist would probably tell me that I think any attention is good attention. I have made art with the explicit intention of having it described as "staggering". The fact that I have not enjoyed a single Star Wars movie is something that I am not good at keeping to myself. A profound lack of self-awareness allowed me to spend two years of my life trying to be a professional stand-up comedian. I bench pressed 405 pounds once. I have spent time resenting the advice of hypothetical therapists. I live in Utah and will argue that it is more beautiful than homophobic.
October 2nd, 2016 | 55 mins 58 secs
Trump goes on a 3 am tweet storm, a woman polishes off a pork bun in a typhoon, motorized rideable suitcases are coming to an airport near you, and Mike eats a candy bar at the urinal. SHOW NOTES Introduction Adam Christopher on Twitter After 6 pod...
September 25th, 2016 | 1 hr 5 mins
Casey plagiarizes a song, man gets arrested for speeding in Delorean at 88mph, Pennsylvania man creates the most racist Halloween costume ever, lawmaker who opposed helmet law dies in motorcycle crash, Mike defends the sanctity of the word ‘ironic.
September 18th, 2016 | 1 hr 4 mins
Donald Trump announces his testosterone levels, Chinese people invented toilet paper and (maybe) pizza, Bruce Horowitz tells women to lose the engagement ring during job interviews, and Mike commits an on-campus crime at dawn.
September 11th, 2016 | 58 mins 46 secs
A parakeet refuses to clean the floor, a 70-year-old man goes to jail to get away from his wife, a new Target employee gives a play-by-play of his first week on the job, and teenage Mike catches his girlfriend cheating.
Episode 44: ‘A Hundred-dollar-sized Piece of David Bowie,’ with Special Guests Jeff Mac & Cade Chilcoat
September 4th, 2016 | 1 hr 12 mins
A two-headed Barry White creature does some math, waiting room occupants are conditioned to stand up in response to a sound, Kaepernick refuses to stand up in response to a sound, and a remorseful square dancer tries to destroy the Internet.
August 28th, 2016 | 1 hr 5 mins
Guy who says God sends natural disasters to punish gays has his home destroyed in a natural disaster, patriotic parent gets outraged by a Pledge of Allegiance opt-out permission slip, wedding photographer photographs shrink-wrapped newlyweds,
August 21st, 2016 | 1 hr 6 mins
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog trolls Trump supporters, Olympic pools turn green, a spider almost persuades Mike to become a believer, and Justin finds the Hummingbird Lady. SHOW NOTES Introduction Atheism 101 website Japanese toilet prank Trumped up...
July 10th, 2016 | 59 mins 9 secs
Kaley Cuoco desecrates the flag, a man seems to die in every terrorist attack, the IRS doesn’t accept iTunes cards, and Mike’s buddy escalates a toilet paper prank. SHOW NOTES Intro Grilled Onions Podcast Follow-up Ask a manager Trumped up On polic...
July 2nd, 2016 | 1 hr 2 mins
Sunish makes a cameo, an $8 bowl of Frosted Flakes in Times Square constitutes fine dining, the bitter almond tree gets ‘banned,’ an intern circulates a footwear petition, and #HeterosexualPrideDay trends on Twitter.
June 26th, 2016 | 1 hr 1 min
Australian teens have smaller babies with this one weird trick, Mike contemplates assuming his wife’s last name, Rick Tyler unironically runs for Congress on the ‘Make America White Again’ platform, and Tom DeLonge leaves Blink-182 to focus on ‘nationa...
June 19th, 2016 | 59 mins 19 secs
Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick accidentally praises God’s vengeance, Mike’s buddy kills a guy, Ari Nagel sires 22 children, Anonymous gays up some ISIS Twitter accounts, and the ‘Coexist’ logo makes Mike’s eyes bleed.
June 12th, 2016 | 1 hr 5 mins
Brock Turner’s ribeye enthusiasm wanes, a bride prays for the plight of her bridesmaids, John Oliver forgives $15M in medical debt, and a robot sorts some stones. SHOW NOTES Intro Boxer Crackas Follow-up Origins of ‘dork’ Trumped up On repressed wh...
June 5th, 2016 | 1 hr 3 mins
Women shouldn’t always ‘lean in,’ a restless patriot distances himself from Obama’s Hiroshima ‘apology,’ a friendly gorilla is cruelly murdered by bloodthirsty zookeepers, the government thinks Frosted Flakes are healthier than avocados, and R.
May 29th, 2016 | 1 hr 3 mins
Peter Thiel knows how to hold a grudge, Connie prefers English speakers, the internet wants to give Captain America a boyfriend, Sebastian accidentally becomes an artist, and Mike improves* his pronunciation.
May 22nd, 2016 | 1 hr 2 mins
Adam bates Republican Scott Esk into torpedoing his own political career, Sunish sends in feedback, Koreans armpits are magical, a father vomits with his son, the alleged curvature of the world requires grid shifting,
May 13th, 2016 | 56 mins 11 secs
Indiana Governor Mike Pence wants to hear about your period, women in Japan get time off for menstrual leave, a bubble and Bosu balance trainer “prove” that the earth is flat, and John Oliver answers the question “is science bullshit?