My grandfather once told my father that he’d rather my father smoke cigarettes than ever lie to him, and my father passed that sentiment on to me. The coo of a mourning dove fills my heart with a nostalgia I may never understand. I have two cats, but I don’t consider myself a ‘cat person’. Dogs are great too, but they don’t bury their own poop, and they will let a perfectly good cadaver go to waste for no other reason than it belongs to their recently deceased owner. My mother told me when I was young that my handwriting grades didn’t matter, and now I can rarely read my own handwritten notes. If I grew up to be a doctor, this anecdote would be amusing. My friends and I used to be afraid of an evil spirit in Clint’s basement, but it turned out that it was just sleep paralysis. I once ate a Dixie cup full of mayonnaise for ten dollars at a party, and later drank a half-gallon of whole milk every day for two years during business school. Now I avoid both.
January 27th, 2018 | 46 mins 2 secs
headline of the week, is this a thing
A twenty-something Reddit user discovers not every household is equipped with a poop knife, former Facebook VP apologizes for initializing the downfall of civilization, and a Thai cosmetic surgery shop makes headlines for its penis bleaching.
January 9th, 2018 | 48 mins 50 secs
Trump reassures the nation of his mental stability through a series of unhinged tweets, the New York Times throws shade at deceased Mormon president, and Mike and Justin discuss media bias and echo chambers.
December 31st, 2017 | 54 mins 35 secs
Russian immigrants “ruin” grits, Justin corrects his philosophy on tipping, Mike introduces a new pornographic genre to a crowd, and Donald Trump eats like a poor person’s idea of a rich person.
December 23rd, 2017 | 55 mins 20 secs
stupid shit my friends post
Mike and Justin discuss the ethics of onanism, patriotism and various other isms.
December 14th, 2017 | 1 hr 8 mins
Mike visits a gay bar and learns exactly how hot (or not) he is, Roy Moore almost becomes a senator, woman claims she’s had sex with 20 ghosts, and John learns to use food to assert his control over a Boy Scout.
December 4th, 2017 | 49 mins 2 secs
Trumped Up returns.
November 29th, 2017 | 34 mins 19 secs
Mike and Justin discuss birth, death and hypothetical gay sex.
November 20th, 2017 | 53 mins 59 secs
eye candy, stupid shit my friends post
Roy Moore, Louis C.K., Boy Scout miscellany and 280-character tweets.
November 11th, 2017 | 1 hr 19 secs
stupid shit my friends post
Mike describes a faith discussion cut short with an estranged friend and the Boy Scouts of America’s new policy allowing girls to participate.
November 5th, 2017 | 23 mins
The guys take a week off and fill the void with an episode from our Patrons-only podcast, Mike’s Mission Journal.
October 29th, 2017 | 52 mins 16 secs
Mike and Justin explore the line between honesty and provocation.
October 18th, 2017 | 1 hr 6 mins
eye candy, headline of the week, stupid shit my friends post, trumped up
Trump offers his thoughts on the Las Vegas massacre, Mike defends politicizing a tragedy, California school flutes get contaminated with semen given to California students, and an historic grain silo is converted into cylindrical art galleries.
October 12th, 2017 | 49 mins 22 secs
BYU students get caffeinated soda, NFL players’ protests are contrasted with Tim Tebow’s prayerful touchdown celebrations, and ‘hepeating’ is the new mansplaining.
October 1st, 2017 | 59 mins 40 secs
eye candy, headline of the week, not the onion, trumped up
Trump calls out racists on Twitter, the Mad Pooper terrorizes Colorado Springs, 12 ways to know you’re brainwashed, sign language interpreter falls back on gibberish, and subversive MTA ads make a point.
September 17th, 2017 | 1 hr 4 mins
eye candy, headline of the week, not the onion, stupid shit my friends post, trumped up
Ted Cruz’s Twitter account likes a porn video, Florida sheriff warns against shooting into the hurricane, alt-right violence is compared to “communist flag wavers”, a date goes south after a bathroom mishap, and Katerina Kamprani creates utterly useless art objects.
September 9th, 2017 | 51 mins 55 secs
eye candy, not the onion, stupid shit my friends post, trumped up
Bo shares his dogspotting philosophy, Trump makes a repeat visit to Houston, Mayor Elijah Daniel outlaws heterosexuality in Hell, Mike argues about ghosts with an old acquaintance, poorly delivered package traps couple in apartment, Bored Panda finds art in worn-out everyday things.